Teens: How do you learn to control your anger? Activity 18 & 19
Dr Gowher Yusuf
Hal 3rd stage, Bengaluru Feb 14, 2017
Source: The Anger workbook for Teens by (Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS)
Assuming that you know what others are thinking and feeling is a slippery slope that can get you into deep trouble. Rather than responding to situations with anger, it is important to be sure you have the facts straight.
When you catch yourself making assumptions, do this:
Say, “Stop it!”
Every time you catch yourself thinking you know what someone else is thinking, tell yourself to stop.
Think of how you may be misreading the situation. Try to see other sides of the story rather than focusing on what you “think” you know.
Realize that not everyone thinks as you do.
What you think may be different from reality. Seek out the facts before you react.
Ask yourself, “Am I jumping to conclusions?
You may not have all the information you need to make a decision. Do you react to information you have received from others rather than the person you are in conflict with?
Ask for the truth.
Go directly to the person and ask what’s going on. What’s the worst thing that will happen?
Have you ever made wrong assumptions about a situation? Tell what happened.
What happen when you found out that you were wrong?
What might have happened if you had gotten all the facts?
Anger builds in stages. By understanding the progression of your anger, you can learn to quickly identify when you are becoming agitated and head it off before it gets out of control.
Your anger button gets pushed.
Your thinking gets distorted. Anger tends to distort how people think about situations. Other common distortions include blaming others and misinterpreting events.
Your feelings take over and you react.
Think of a time when you were angry. Describe each stage of your anger. Then go back and circle the key words that indicate you were in that stage.
Stage 1. Your anger buttons get pushed. (What really set you off?)
Stage 2. Your thinking gets distorted. (You might have misinterpreted the situation, blamed others, or blown things out of proportion?)
Stage 3. Your feelings take over and you react. (What other feelings went along with your anger?)
What do you think would be the best outcome of learning to change your reaction to anger?